Archives for posts with tag: self

Originally posted on OChristine blog.

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Four years ago, I left my life in Los Angeles and bought a one-way ticket to South America. I knew no spanish, didn’t know a soul there and had never even heard of a hostel. In five months, I volunteered in the jungle, slept in $5 a night rooms, did ayahuasca, tried guinea pig and alpaca, hiked under the stars, hitchhiked, slept on a wooden bamboo “bed,” taught a class of Peruvian children for one month, had more hangovers than I can count, got lost, kept exploring, and met so many amazing people that I still call my great friends today.

Then I came back. The universe brought me back so I could discover the loves of my life–my supportive partner, my dog and my art.

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Everyday I continue to nurture these loves, these passions. They give me inspiration, happiness and roots that ground me. They give me a place to call home.

 
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Still, my heart is a traveler’s heart. There is nothing comparable to the uncertainty, rush and curiosity of exploring a new city and a new culture! There are so many secrets waiting to be unveiled, so many paths waiting to be taken, so many treasures the universe offers to us.

 
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I don’t think that ever goes away. But now I have both. My loves and my freedom. My yin and my yang.

I’ve found my balance.

 
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More about Nikki Star: I am a writer, traveler, artist and believer of creating a beautiful life. I believe we all know more than we think we are capable of. We can be and create eternal beauty if we only allow ourselves to. You can join me on my journey at www.strippedcanvas.com. Also, find me on instagram @strippedcanvas.

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Twirling, tumbling and flying, around and around, full and empty at the same time. Lately, this is my mind. I don’t know when a thought begins or when one ends. I grasp at emptiness. Sometimes it feels like paralysis.

We fill our cup, empty it, fill it back up. This over and over for eternity. I don’t want the cup anymore.

Today as I’m hunched over my table cutting, pasting and working on projects, I get a text from my partner who is lying just outside on the patio in the warming sun.

It was just what I needed to hear. Sometimes it’s much needed, no matter how many times it’s been said or known. It is needed.

I feel peaceful today. Just being. Breathing. And knowing I’m near you. Sometimes doing nothing- or not knowing what to do- is the greatest gift. There are no starts, no finishes, no prescribed paths. So enjoy that you are simply alive, with nothing to prove and, for today at least, nowhere to go. Love you- after all, that’s really what it’s all about!

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“You can get everything that you want. But who cares? That will only make you happy in your head. You wont be fulfilled. Connect to this moment. Unhook from wanting everything.

Be, connect, allow, flow, enjoy that process. That is where you meet who you truly are. When you connect to who you actually are, when you release effort, when you unhook from anticipation, fear, doubt, and just allow the unfolding of yourself, when you just start without knowing how, you expand. Expansion equals fulfillment. Fulfillment equals everything.

When you do this, accidentally, money, health, love, career all fall into place, way more than a ton of effort, but who cares? That is not the highest excitement. You were not sent here to “get as much money as possible” You were here to create, allow, flow, play. The money just comes, but it isn’t you.

If the most exciting thing you want is a physical thing, than you only have experienced mental happiness. You have things how you want them, which means you are a victim to your circumstances and you changed the circumstances. But you are still a victim.

Wait until you experience connecting to you. It turns everything else into a story. You suddenly understand something new, you run this whole damn thing. Your fears aren’t real. You discover doubts aren’t real. You see that you were identified with the story of you, but you are only now. Stay there. Nothing to do. Enjoy. Don’t distract yourself every second. Fulfillment leads to true transformation, where you become someone different than who you used to be.”

[Kyle Cease]

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The most powerful person is the one who knows the truth.

The truth about who they are and what they want. One who can envision their life and can make the choice to be surrounded by what they are naturally drawn to. One who trusts their instincts and allows their heart to lead the way.

I believe people who know their own flaws and insecurities don’t deter easily. There is rarely any jealousy and envy of others because they know what they want and have faith that their path has its own rhythmical timing. There is no longer a need to compare, a need to belittle others or compete.

Know your own truth. Be brave enough to question yourself and really hear your answers. That is the best advice ever given to me.

In my mind, there are only two things in this world that cause us pain and suffering…

1…thinking about the past
2…resisting reality/the present

Suffering is important. Suffering gives us strength, pain helps us grow, it is necessary. I think to be human is to suffer. But when do we add more pain by attaching resistance to the suffering? Pain can just be pain if we let it be. That pain is not a part of us and it is never permanent. Let it be present, let it move through us, let it swim all the way to our heart and release all the way to down to our toes. Allow it to come and allow it to go.

There is a type of indescribable strength which comes from letting pain in and coming out on the other side gracefully, without the resistance, without letting the past come haunt us again. That is why I think suffering is beautiful.

 

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I think humans are born into this universe with a forever imprinted sense of loneliness. We feel alone because we forget where we come from. We’re here to experience and express through our human senses, to re-connect, to unite. Some people do that intuitively and some do it through pain, suffering, learning, teaching. I dont know. Life is funny.

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